What Has Changed Over The Last 12 Months
The last 12 months have been a journey to say the least. This journey has been life affirming, I am feeling like I can finally start to enjoy life instead of enduring it. That is the power of removing the masks that I have worn in the effort to try and be someone I am not, most notably in the online space. Although I have had to take this same journey with my massage work, so it’s not surprising that I have had to take it here as well.
My tower moment in the online space just over 12 months ago was the pivot point for me to acknowledge that I can’t keep showing up in the same why I had. Mainly because I was miserable in the online space. I struggled to find my feet, I knew what I wanted but was struggling to find it. The marketing tactics that were being taught went against my values and I just couldn’t use them to sell my online services. As a result, I took a step back around November last year to assess how I wanted to move forward. I decided that I wasn’t going to push my services, I was just going to write. That decision alone created a lot of freedom for me to work out how I was going to move forward and if I was going to stay in the online space. Without the pressure to conform to any way of being I found my way. As part of this process, I made the decision at the start of the year to deep dive into understanding myself through the lens of human design and astrology. Using these modalities helped me understand myself in a way that brought so much peace and compassion, this aided me in learning to show up online in way that honoured my values and who I am as a person. I have learnt over the last 12 months that I can do it my way and that I don’t have to do it in a way that compromises my values.
Lesssons Learned
“Honouring my values is the only way I can show up and work. Compromising these leads to a heavy heart and a dulling of my light”
Image: Josh from Unsplash
Honouring my values is the only way I can show up and work. Compromising these leads to a heavy heart and a dulling of my light.
My way is actually the perfect way for me, just like your way is perfect for you and if you haven’t found your way may you explore ways that honour who you are. I have often told myself that my way can’t be the right way, but this last 12 months has shown me otherwise. It was just a matter of trusting the process.
The messy middle can be hard to sit in, but allowing that space, opened up opportunities to find my unique way. It was certainly uncomfortable at times, and I guess that is where the growth comes in. The ability to sit with that discomfort has shown me that there is a way through if you give it time.
There is peace on the other side of discomfort if you don’t push your way through, and I think this was my biggest challenge over the last 12 months. There were times when I was forcing things, but time and time again I got told to slow down. Me pushing was not making it happen any faster.
Continuing to show up in the online space without the pressure allowed for my authentic unfolding. Taking ownership of how I showed up, what it was that I wanted to say made finding my voice so much easier as well without the pressure to perform.
Learning that so many of my survival strategies had been in play was illuminating to say the least. Recognising my trauma stories was healing. To finally give words to those experiences and how they were now coming back through my online business allowed for integration and healing.
The Changes That Have Taken Place:
“I am no longer putting myself in spaces that make me feel uncomfortable for a false sense of community because in truth that isn’t community that is a prison to have to keep masks on to belong”
Image: Ch pski from Unsplash
I guess the biggest change has been I am no longer trying to fit in for the sake of it. I am no longer putting myself in spaces that make me feel uncomfortable for a false sense of community because in truth that isn’t community that is a prison to have to keep masks on to belong. I no longer go to networking events that don’t resonate in the false hope of finding like-minded businesswomen to connect with.
I stopped showing up in a way that feels like force. I now go with the flow, if I feel like posting then I do. I choose what I want to write about from something of interest, not what is on trend.
When I am launching I am doing it in a way that honours my values. There will be no testimonials to sway people away from tuning into themselves. I am focusing on connection rather than numbers.
I am not interacting with people who don’t go to the effort of engaging with me first. I have been getting a fair few people wanting to share their blogs here, but with no personal contact prior. I am all about connection so cold contacts don’t work for me. Owning and honouring that, it’s not that I am not open to sharing other people’s content on my blog but I need to know that it is a good fit, this means personal contact not just a link to website.
I am only buying services and products that are about getting to know me at a deeper level, encouraging me to find my unique strategies and not following some cookie cutter strategy. This alone has helped me save lots of money.
I have had to learn new tech and now feel so much more comfortable making changes to my online space to make it feel more like my online home, one I am proud to share. Somewhere I want to show up instead of somewhere I should be showing up. This is still a practice in progress, even this blog is part of that. I have changed its name a couple of time to finally land on something that resonates for me.
I am obviously showing up more intentionally and authentically as I go through this process. As I learn more about me the changes that show up afterwards are part of healing process as well.
One Last Thought
“It started with knowing that I didn’t want to sell to people in the same way I had been sold to by some business owners who only saw me as dollars in the bank.”
Image: Brett Jordan from Unsplash
Recognising that I must be the change that I wish to see in the world if I want the marketing space to change then I need to be a leader and show that there is a different way. That people deserve to be treated with respect in the selling process, they are not just a number they have feelings and emotions and that eventually impacts their purchasing process. If you burn them too many times they will shut down and that is not what I want. I want people to see that there are trustworthy business owners out there that value them and their money.
I promise you this you are not just a dollar sign in my world; you are a real person who has needs that want to be met. This is what ultimately started these 12 months of change. It started with knowing that I didn’t want to sell to people in the same way that I had been sold to by some business owners who only saw me as dollars in the bank. Once they had my money there was no interest and I promised myself that I would not do that to others.
The journey over the last 12 months has shown me there is such a way, it is my way because when my motivator is not to have anyone else feel like I did then that is the filter through which all my decisions are made. For example “would this make me feel icky on the other side of this interaction regardless the amount of money invested?” This question as a driver has helped me get clear on how I want to show up in the online space. I appreciate the lessons that got me here, I definitely don’t want to repeat them and so far I haven’t thankfully.
I know that the next 12 months will be different from the last and that I will continue to evolve and change as the healing process continues - not through struggle but with love at the foundation of the choices that I make. A love of self to continue to show up and honour what is true for me, so that I may show others there is another way, one where you don’t have to compromise your values to be seen.